The two sides of the “Connection Age”
With the development of IT technology and the internet, we’ve moved from the ‘Industrial Age’ to the ‘Information Age' and now the ‘Connection Age’ with the development and proliferation of social media.
This technological revolution has transformed and reshaped the way people communicate and connect with each other. Now, people from countries that would otherwise never have connected in the past (or with a lot of difficulties) – I mean before the Internet – can now communicate in real time through social media and other applications.
The internet has wiped out the barrier of time and space between people and allowed people to build vast networks of ‘friends’. This is the first side of the connection Age. We now have ‘friends’ everywhere… We “know” someone in the USA, Australia, South America, Europe, Africa, etc… someone that we have never met in real life (although some would consider the digital space real… ) but we have an e-connection.
What’s the good in this?
Well, we humans, are social beings and our brain is hardwired to process social information. Since the beginning of humanity, we have been focused and disciplined in building our networks to ensure our survival… Why? Because we have an innate needs to belong.
Our social needs – contrary to what Abraham Maslow proposed in his Hierarchy of Needs – are primary alongside our physiological needs. That’s why our brain processes physical pain and social pain the same way…
We have spent most of our resources (time, space, energy, money) to build networks and find ways to integrate ourselves into a bigger network – driven by our strong survival need to belong to a group.
- The more connected we are, the better we feel… because we belong, we receive attention and recognition from our friends, and we can feel validated.
However, there is another side to social media and the ‘Connection Age’ that sometimes eludes us…
- The more highly connected we are with others, the less we are connected with ourselves.
The greater our network, the more we tend to focus our attention outside of ourselves. This leads us to grow our circle of concern (what we care and worry about)… much faster than our circle of influence (what we can do and influence) and is often a source of stress and anxiety for many…
The more you know (or think you know) what’s on the outside, the less you really know what’s on the inside…
I’m not saying that you should ignore others and solely focus on yourself. What I’m saying is rather to be mindful of keeping a balance between the attention & focus you dedicate to others and yourself.
Both extremes – altruism (selflessness) and narcissism (Self-centredness) – are maladaptive. A balance between self and others is necessary to survive and thrive…
- Are you spending the same amount of time & energy to know, understand and appreciate yourself as you do to know, understand and appreciate others?
- Are you mostly focusing on others and their concerns at the expense of yourself and what matters to you?
In Nutshell:
The ‘Connection Age’ was born because technology allowed us to fulfill one of our deepest hardwired needs: our need to belong.
- The more connected we are, the better we feel… because we belong, we receive attention and recognition, and we feel validated.
- On the flip side: The more highly connected we are with others, the less we are connected with ourselves.
- Developing and maintaining a deep understanding of self and others is the key to survival and thriving…
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