The Most Important Skills to Master for Success
Emotional Intelligence & Resilience
Emotional intelligence has developed in parallel with positive psychology and involves the ability to perceive, assess and influence one’s own and other’s emotions and intentions. Emotional intelligence was first introduced in 1990 and described as “a form of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and other's feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and action.”
Originally, Emotional Intelligence (EQ) was developed as a four-branch model which includes the capacity to:
- Accurately perceive emotions
- Use emotions to facilitate thinking
- Understand emotional meanings
- Manage emotions.
In 1995, Daniel Goleman proposed in his landmark book Emotional Intelligence that EQ corresponds to a set of competencies that are not innate talents, but instead abilities or competencies that can be learned, and that developing awareness and identifying the gap in any of these categories allows the person to further develop his capacity to handle and adapt to social life and change.
Emotional intelligence includes capacities of:
- Self-awareness – the ability to identify and name one’s emotional states and understand the link between emotions, thoughts, and actions.
- Self-regulation – the ability to effectively regulate one’s emotions and/or shift undesirable emotional states to more adequate ones.
- Social awareness – the ability to read, be sensitive to, understand, and influence other people’s emotions.
- Relationship management – the ability to enter into emotional states with a drive to achieve and be successful, and to enter and sustain satisfactory interpersonal relationships.
Research has shown that developing EQ skills improve relationships and that social factors are more important to long-term success than technical ones.
Empathy, self-awareness, self-regulation, and the ability to read the emotions of others are necessary skills for those who wish to make positive changes in their personal and work lives.
The easiest way to develop those competencies is to first become aware of how you doing so far. Just take a moment to do a quick self-analysis and answer the following questions:
- Do you find it easy to get in touch with your emotions?
- Do you have an effective way of dealing with your emotions? Especially in the “heat” of the action…
- Is it easy for you to read and/or influence others?
- Can you enter and sustain emotional states at will to drive your success?
- Do you find it easy to relate and empathise with others?
If you’re finding it hard to answer those questions, you might want to ask a friend or a loved one to help you out. However, be aware that they may have different viewpoints. Remember, there is no failure, only opportunities to refine, change and grow… It’s not what the other person says, but it’s how you take it in… And this is in itself an important aspect of EQ…
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