Feeling Stuck? Clue #2
SCENARIO #2: In this situation, you have developed adequate Emotional Intelligence & Resilience skills to cope with daily life challenges and most stressors and you can manage your emotions, but you’re not too sure about who you really are and you are kind of stuck, not knowing where to go and what to do next…
In this scenario, the two most common issues that people face are an absence of internal drive and meaning and feeling stuck because of the difficulty to move forward and execute.
- A lack of internal drive and meaning comes from not knowing who you really are on the inside – Core Identity. One of my mentors, Dr John Demartini, said “When the vision on the inside becomes clearer and louder than the opinions on the outside, you start to master your life.” We are all born for a reason and the purpose of living seems to be to get greater clarity on that reason. The ancient Greek Delphic Oracle said that the purpose of life is to “know thyself, be thyself and love thyself”. The more we discover who we are, the more can unlock our unique genius & potential to achieve greatness. Mark Twain said “The two most important days in your life are the day you’re born and the day you figure out Why.” Knowing who you truly give you instant access to an infinite source of life/spiritual energy – elan vital or life force – that animates your body. It’s the inner knowing and certainty that this is Who I am and that’s what I’m here to do and with that comes the drive to act, commit and the persistence to build your own masterpiece. Without this connection to your True Self, it feels like living as an empty shell… There is no meaning and it’s easy to lose hope and desire to grow and evolve as an individual. In other words, you feel like you’re in limbo simply waiting for your final day…
Bronnie Ware, an Australian palliative care nurse for the terminally ill discovered that the number 1 regret of the dying was that “They wish they’d had the courage to live a life true to themselves, not the life others expected of them.”
- Despite trying different approaches, and getting a few ideas from people around you, nothing seems to go as expected and taking action feels more and more difficult. Resistance is mounting and you’re not clear on what to do next to make things work. You’re hitting the wall… While you’ve employed strategies that have worked in the past for others, they don’t seem to work for you despite all the willpower, energy and effort you’re putting in. You are starting to question yourself, your capacities and whether you can really achieve your goals. Your self-esteem is on the way out, your self-worth spiralling down, you’re feeling stuck and you don’t know what strategy to try next…
While you’re managing your emotions Ok on a daily basis, it’s hard to find real motivation and meaning in life and everything you try doesn’t work as well as it does for others. It feels like you’re pushing a giant snowball uphill and on an icy black diamond slope.
How to get out of this impasse and move forward?
Well… It may be time to pause for a moment – instead of keeping your head down and pushing hard as most people do – and spend some quality time finding some answers to who you really are and what is your WHY…
Below are a few quality questions to get you started:
- What would be the One Thing you would love to achieve in life that would be your personal footprint?
I’m not sure if you’ve heard Beyonce’s song “I was here” in which she sings:
“I wanna leave my footprint on the sands of time
Know there was something that, meant something that I left behind
When I leave this world, I’ll leave no regrets,
Leave something to remember, so they won’t forget … I was here”
- What is it for you? What does it look like?
If someone were to write a Wikipedia entry to honour your life and your accomplishments.
- What would that look like?
- What would be written?
- How would you define yourself?
Getting clear on what makes your heart tick and your mind spark is the first clue to living an inspired life.
Once you start to get clear on your Core identity, you’ll be in a much better place to uncover your Authentic Strategies and build your unique masterpiece.
Again if it’s not coming naturally, don’t let this stop you, be patient and/or ask for help…
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Drs. Marcia & Olivier Becherel are Personal Leadership Specialists, Life & Business Strategists, Executive Coaches, and the founders of Mastery to Success.
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